Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Busy, busy, busy...

Very stressful & busy time this week....changes to the course I'm doing, last minute, means I need to make some pretty important decisions. So not a lot of time for writing, or reading other people's blogs :-( Sorry!

In the meantime, have a microfiction. 99 word story, called:

Leslie watched the gate. “He’ll come,” she told her sister.
Marie shrugged.
“He’ll come,” Leslie repeated, keeping her gaze fixed on the gate.
No one appeared. A little drizzle started, but they paid it no attention.
“He’s probably got somewhere better to be,” Marie remarked. “He’s bound to have moved on, by now. You shouldn’t blame him.”
“He’s welcome to move on,” Leslie hissed. “I just don’t want him to forget. There,” she added as he appeared.
Marie had enough sense to stay silent as Leslie’s former husband laid flowers on her grave, and shed a tear for her.


David Barber said...

Woah, you threw me right off at the end. Very well done, Jolene.

A bit of editing. I felt it needed a "return/line break" when the speech changed from one sister to the other. Between "he's welcome to move on" and "don't blame him."

Only a minor thing but still a great little write!

Lee Hughes said...

99 words and not one wasted. Good luck with the course change.

Joleen said...

Cheers, Lee! And thanks, once I actually make a decision I'll be fine, it's the meantime that's tough, hehe!

Thanks, David! I'm going to blame blogger for the formatting errors - I swear there's a line break there in the original document, but when I copy and paste it from MS Word into blogger it screws it all up, and while I normally edit it, this time I was lazy...I'll go rectify that now ;-) Glad you liked it, and that it caught you out!