Thursday, October 7, 2010

Misty Morning - A Short Story

A flash fiction. I wrote and revised this as part of Folded Word 24/7, in which participants wrote a piece a day for the month of August.


Misty Morning

She climbed the tower as she did every morning. Today was different though. Usually the whole town was visible and she started her days by surveying it, and dreaming of what she would one day do. Now she couldn’t. Everything was hidden behind a shroud of mist. What little she could see was blurred and grey, and all the sounds were muffled. She felt like the only person left on earth. It left her feeling powerful and sad simultaneously as she climbed down. She could not do what she intended.

She went into the world as normal. Participated in the usual doing of job, paying of bills, answering of questions or whatever passed for dialogue. Pretended to be normal, as she did every day. She concealed the rage within her core, as before.

The mist did not burn off as the day progressed. The light remained the same shade of grey, only the movement of the clock indicated that time was passing at all. As evening arrived she climbed the tower once more and surveyed the valley. It was still hidden. Cloaked in mist.

They’re safe, she thought as she took the rifle apart again. They’re safe for at least one more day. If I can’t see them, I can’t shoot.

Darkness fell, and the mist remained.


Melissa said...

I like this concealed rage, concealed humanity. Brilliant.

Lily Childs said...

Although it took me a moment to realise she was descending the tower at the beginning, I really liked this. It had the feel of an urban fairytale.

Very atmospheric - the cold of the mist was tangible and I felt it also represented her state of mind, acting as a kind of fug; a protection against an impending insanity. Great piece of writing.

Lee Hughes said...

Very dark and foreboding, loved it.

Joleen said...

Thank you, everyone! :-)

caroline said...

this was creepy,gave me a chill,so well done!